"Never start a conversation with..." or "CLINGER!!!"

A week after the 4th of July party, I was scheduled to go on my second date with ___.   We had made plans to go to a movie.  Normally, I wouldn't think of going to a movie on a second date because you can't talk to the person.  However, she suggested we see Transformers.  Being a guy who grew up watching those cartoons obsessively, I couldn't resist.  In all seriousness, I was more devastated when Optimus Prime died than when my pet guinea pig, Bandit, went paws up.

The date was scheduled for a Sunday.  I woke up kind of stoked.  I did have a good time the week prior, after all. 

I spent the morning cleaning up the apartment and doing laundry.  I finished around 2:30.  Having about 2 hours to kill before I had to start getting ready for the movie, I was looking for something to do.

A quick glance out the window into a beautiful, bright, sunny Chicago day gave me my answer.  I threw on a pair of board shorts and sunglasses, grabbed a towel and my Kindle, and headed down to the pool.

Opening the gate, I see there are other folks already there.  There's a family at a table in the corner of the patio.  There are four cute girls, broken into 2 pairs.  I set up camp right in between the two.

For the next couple hours, I alternate between reading, dips in the pool, and sneaking glances at the girls in bikinis.  God I love summer.

I glance at my watch and resolve to head back to the room for a shower after the end of the next chapter when I get a text message from my date.

Her: Hey, can I ask you something?

Now, I HATE this question.  First of all, it's not a real question.  It's a warning.  No one ever says "no" to "can I ask you something?", and no one ever wants to answer the REAL question that follows.  Steeling myself, I answer.  From here on out... here's how our conversation went, verbatim:

Me: Sure, go ahead.

Her: OK I know we have only hung out twice, but do you potentially forsee [sic.] us dating down the line?  I know I would want to take things slow with whomever I am with but I also feel like I made the initiative in asking you to do something again and normally I don't have to because it comes from the other person, and I just feel like you said sure because you are a nice guy.

Me:  I think you're overthinking things, ___.  As far as whether we'll date seriously, I can't answer that question because I don't have any idea.
 (Pause)
Me: This sort of question one date in concerns me.

Her: I don't mean seriously, I am just asking if you are interested in me enough to potentially date... I mean dating me not serious relationship... usually people know whether there is potential with someone after hanging out once or twice and again I am not talking serious now.  I mean I don't want to waste your time of mine if you aren't even interested... again I am not talking seriously dating.

Me: I don't even know what to say right now.

Her: I am not trying to scare you or anything I guess I am just looking out for my best interest.  I'm sorry I guess I just say what's on my mind... If I am too forward I'm sorry... I was not meaning seriously dating, just dating... now I feel like an idiot... and maybe we should forego the movie.

Me.: Don't feel like an idiot.  I am a little gun shy talking about the future, especially this quickly.

Her:  I am not talking about future. I am just asking if you are interested in me and getting to know me better... I am not talking serious dating at all so don't think that.  I would think 2 adults would know if there was an interest in one another after one date, not saying anything more than that.

Me:  Are you insulting me now?  What the heck is going on, ____?  I think I will pass on the movie.

Her: No I am not insulting at all... sorry if it came across that way.  I'm sorry I should have never said a word and just let it ride.  I am sorry again... can I have a re-do?  I will not bring any of that stuff up again... I think it came out the wrong way of what I was trying to convey.

So from an opening statement that put me on my guard, to scaring the bejesus out of me by making me think she was a level 5 clinger, to backtracking and appearing to have no conviction (I count 5 "sorry"'s), this poor girl basically talked herself out of a date... and ran me right out of her life. 

I want a woman who is confident, one who doesn't NEED me around, but WANTS me around.  So while I feel bad for her, I'm actually glad she did this, as it kept me from wasting my time... and hers.  She definitely was NOT what I was looking for.

This pretty much opened up my night.  I looked to my right, then looked to my left.  I picked up my phone and walked over to the pair of girls sitting on my left.

"Excuse me, can you explain to me why women are crazy?" 

Heck of an opening line, right?  How'd it turn out?  Well, that's for next post...